I am a Bigot

There are some experiences in my life that are hard to forget, and the memories come back to me at times asking for some type of catharsis. One of those experiences came during the 2008 elections. My husband and I were attending a community college at the time, and decided to set up a booth on campus to educate people about Proposition 8. As with any political booth, we were biased. We made it clear that we were voting Yes on 8. And frankly, our goal wasn't to convince people who were voting No to change their vote to a Yes. Our goal was to present our side of the argument to people who were undecided (or people who were decided but were curious about the other side), educate people who were unclear on what a Yes or No vote really meant, and provide support for those people who had already decided to vote Yes. We were met with more support than I would have thought. We were also met with more hostility and hatred than I could have imagined.

During one very difficult day, we had a woman who approached our booth, grabbed our pamphlets off the table and threw them into the air. Then she proceeded to scream at us, proclaiming what horrible people we were. As Brett and I were packing up the booth and bringing our supplies to the car at the end of the day, this same woman followed us for a bit.

"Bigot!" She yelled after me.

I said nothing. But as Brett and I were driving home I began to cry. Never in my life have I felt so much hatred from other people, as when I sat behind that booth, with a sign that said Yes on 8.

Obviously, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I believe it is ordained of God. To many people, this makes me a bigot. I am a bigot because I hold different beliefs about the definition of marriage.

Different beliefs. 

My understanding of the definition of the word "bigot" is that it's a derogatory term used to label someone who does not respect beliefs other than their own. Let's take a closer look at this.

1) I am entitled to have my beliefs about what I think marriage is. This does not make me a bigot. This makes me a person with different beliefs, and I deserve to be shown respect for those beliefs. I respect that other people have different beliefs. No, I don't agree with them. But that in itself does not make me a bigot. Standing up for your own beliefs doesn't mean you disrespect the beliefs of others, and it certainly doesn't make you a bad person.

2) As I stated above, the word "bigot" is a derogatory word. Even if I didn't respect the beliefs of others, calling me a bigot is just plain rude. It's like calling a gay person a faggot or a dyke. It's derogatory. It's mean. There is no reason you call another person these names unless you intend to put them down, and elevate yourself by degrading them.

So, to that woman who yelled at me, and to all the others who have in the past or who will in the future call me a bigot, go ahead. Label me with a derogatory name for holding different beliefs (hypocritical much?). But I will refuse to show you the same hatred you have shown me. I will continue to fight for what I think is right. If that makes me a bigot to you, then fine. But know that I still respect your right to fight for what you believe in. Sometimes that means I will be fighting against you, but that doesn't mean I don't respect you (though if you call me names it might be a bit difficult for me). Sometimes my beliefs will mean I am fighting against my own friends and relatives, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. A difference of belief is just that, a difference. Hatred or disrespect is something else entirely.

In my experience, bigotry is usually just a word people use to try to make their own disrespect of different beliefs more politically acceptable.