I am a Bigot

There are some experiences in my life that are hard to forget, and the memories come back to me at times asking for some type of catharsis. One of those experiences came during the 2008 elections. My husband and I were attending a community college at the time, and decided to set up a booth on campus to educate people about Proposition 8. As with any political booth, we were biased. We made it clear that we were voting Yes on 8. And frankly, our goal wasn't to convince people who were voting No to change their vote to a Yes. Our goal was to present our side of the argument to people who were undecided (or people who were decided but were curious about the other side), educate people who were unclear on what a Yes or No vote really meant, and provide support for those people who had already decided to vote Yes. We were met with more support than I would have thought. We were also met with more hostility and hatred than I could have imagined.

During one very difficult day, we had a woman who approached our booth, grabbed our pamphlets off the table and threw them into the air. Then she proceeded to scream at us, proclaiming what horrible people we were. As Brett and I were packing up the booth and bringing our supplies to the car at the end of the day, this same woman followed us for a bit.

"Bigot!" She yelled after me.

I said nothing. But as Brett and I were driving home I began to cry. Never in my life have I felt so much hatred from other people, as when I sat behind that booth, with a sign that said Yes on 8.

Obviously, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I believe it is ordained of God. To many people, this makes me a bigot. I am a bigot because I hold different beliefs about the definition of marriage.

Different beliefs. 

My understanding of the definition of the word "bigot" is that it's a derogatory term used to label someone who does not respect beliefs other than their own. Let's take a closer look at this.

1) I am entitled to have my beliefs about what I think marriage is. This does not make me a bigot. This makes me a person with different beliefs, and I deserve to be shown respect for those beliefs. I respect that other people have different beliefs. No, I don't agree with them. But that in itself does not make me a bigot. Standing up for your own beliefs doesn't mean you disrespect the beliefs of others, and it certainly doesn't make you a bad person.

2) As I stated above, the word "bigot" is a derogatory word. Even if I didn't respect the beliefs of others, calling me a bigot is just plain rude. It's like calling a gay person a faggot or a dyke. It's derogatory. It's mean. There is no reason you call another person these names unless you intend to put them down, and elevate yourself by degrading them.

So, to that woman who yelled at me, and to all the others who have in the past or who will in the future call me a bigot, go ahead. Label me with a derogatory name for holding different beliefs (hypocritical much?). But I will refuse to show you the same hatred you have shown me. I will continue to fight for what I think is right. If that makes me a bigot to you, then fine. But know that I still respect your right to fight for what you believe in. Sometimes that means I will be fighting against you, but that doesn't mean I don't respect you (though if you call me names it might be a bit difficult for me). Sometimes my beliefs will mean I am fighting against my own friends and relatives, but that doesn't mean I don't love them. A difference of belief is just that, a difference. Hatred or disrespect is something else entirely.

In my experience, bigotry is usually just a word people use to try to make their own disrespect of different beliefs more politically acceptable.

My Awesome Life

I wrote this blog post about a week ago, but for some reason never posted it, so here it is. 

I have a confession to make. I like to read about other people's lives. Not in a creepy stalker kind of way. The blogs I read are mostly of people I know. And I know some pretty cool people. I know people who live in awesome places and do awesome things. People who live awesome lives. And...I'm always a bit jealous. I read these blog posts and I think, "Wow. I want to do that. Why don't I do that? Why isn't my life that awesome?"

This is probably a totally normal thing to think. We all have our moments where we envy the lives of other people, assuming they are better than our own. But I think I have been having too many of these moments lately. I haven't been happy with my everyday life. I have been thinking I'm missing something. And I finally realized what it is! It's nothing. It's me.

I think I need to realize that I do live an awesome life. It's just different than the awesomeness of others. It's often awesome on a much smaller scale. So, here is a look at my totally normal, completely uneventful, awesome day:

Kate let me sleep in until 6:30am today. This was awesome because for the past few days she has been waking up before 5:00am. I got her up and took her into bed with me to nurse, which is my favorite morning ritual that we have. Then we played in bed for a few minutes before I went to let Deacon out to "do his business". His poop didn't stick to the grass as much as usual, making it easier to pick up. Awesome. Then we went downstairs to have breakfast. I had cheerios with honey on top. Awesome simple yumminess. Then we went upstairs and I took a shower. Kate was good and played by herself the entire time. Then I put her down for her morning nap. During her nap I was able to do some laundry, exercise, check some items off of my "to-do before I leave for California list", check my email and internet stuff, do my makeup and hair, pray, and read my scriptures. That is one long list of awesome.

After Kate got up we nursed while watching 30 Rock on netflix, then went downstairs to have lunch. I had burritos (yes, plural). Burritos are my favorite awesome food. Kate had mango mixed with oatmeal (yum? She seemed to like it). Then I had an intense craving for chocolate. So I ate some chocolate chips right out of the bag. Awesome.

Kate and I played peekaboo with a big red sheet while I was folding laundry, which means we were folding laundry until it was time for her afternoon nap. It was totally worth it, because she was laughing so hard at that big red sheet. It was awesome, until I put the sheet away and her laughter turned to tears because she was so tired.

I tidied up a bit after she was asleep, and then decided that I was feeling a bit tired myself, and a nap would be far more enjoyable than doing my homework. So I took a nap. I woke up to the sound of Kate gleefully kicking the bars of her crib into the wall. It was awesome.

After Kate was up I had planned on going for a walk in my awesome new sneakers my awesome husband got for me yesterday, but the stroller was left in the car, and the car was with the awesome husband. Oh well. I had some overripe bananas that I wasn't going to eat, and so I made banana bread to entice my awesome husband to come home early. It worked. (Awesome!)

Then Kate got a bit cranky, and so we nursed, but she continued to be cranky and seemed to be having some gas pain. This has been a more frequent thing lately so I called my awesome cousin to chat about it. We chatted until my awesome husband got home.

For dinner I made veggie pasta with broccoli and alfredo sauce. It was yummy. But the awesome part was that my husband cleaned up the kitchen afterward, while I gave Kate a bath. I nursed Kate before bed while watching more 30 Rock, and then put her down in her crib. She fell asleep without a peep (awesome!!) while I watched more 30 Rock. Then I got on my computer to check my email and internet stuff, and blog about my awesome life.

There. Now you can be jealous of me.

Extremity

It's official. Rite Aid released their new coupon policy, which is now more restrictive on BOGO sales and the number of like coupons that can be used. The buzz all over the coupon world is that this is a result of the show Extreme Couponing. And...I agree.

Maybe I don't really deserve to have an opinion. I am not a coupon guru, I am just an average girl who gets giddy over cheap stuff. I have never even seen the show because I don't have cable. But from what I hear (and a few clips I have seen on the internet) it is basically an extension of the show Hoarders, where people who probably need therapy buy 400 bottles of mustard instead, and convert their kid's bedroom into a storage closet to hold enough toilet paper to last until the second coming.

When I first realized how "extreme" Extreme Couponing really was, I still didn't think it would have that much of an impact on the couponing world. I figured it was just another attempt of the media to exploit people who, in all seriousness, need help. But apparently stores are starting to take notice. And why shouldn't they? It isn't good business to have empty shelves.

I would write my opinion about the specifics of the new policy, but that doesn't really matter. It really is a fairly petty issue. Rite Aid has the right to accept or decline whatever coupons they want, regardless of my personal feelings.

My point is that I am not an extreme couponer. I am a college student with a young family trying to stretch the few dollars I have. Since I stay home with my daughter, it is my contribution to financially supporting our family. Will I still find good deals even though Rite Aid changed their policy? Sure I will. Will I still shop at Rite Aid? Who knows. I go to where the deals are.

I guess the reason why I bothered writing this is to say that shows like Extreme Couponing are the reason why I don't watch T.V. Truthfully, I couldn't afford cable if I wanted it. But I hope that someday we will be able to afford it. And I hope that when that day comes I will have the wisdom to just say no, and keep this crap out of my house. In a way, I feel bad for even writing this, because in order for the media to stop exploiting the truly sad lives of these people, we have to stop consuming this cheap, sick excuse for entertainment.

This is what $7 buys

This is what I do every Monday morning. And I love it. I paid $6.53 out of pocket and got:

• 3 packs of Huggies Little Swimmers
• 2 bottles of Purex Laundry Detergent
• 1 Oral B toothbrush
• 1 Oral B floss
• 1 Crest toothpaste
• 8 boxes of Ronzoni pasta
• 2 boxes of American Beauty pasta

With all the pasta I couponed last week, I estimate I now have a year's supply. If you come over to my house please don't look underneath the table next to my couch, or you will find out where I'm stashing it all...

A Whole Lot of Nothing

I have debated over the past week whether or not I want to keep this blog. I even deleted it, and then a few days later undeleted it. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings. Why?

Because I'm not sure if I want to get this personal with the world. I'm not just talking about the online world. I'm just not sure if I want to let people get to know me this well. Because I think a lot of people don't know me very well at all. And I'm afraid to change that.

But I'm going to take a little leap of faith. I'm going to assume that people won't stop being my friend if they get to know some of my actual opinions on things (and on the flip side, I'm going to assume that if they do stop being my friend then they are super lame). And I wouldn't be doing this, except for one reason.

I think I need to write.

One of my amazing professors, Steve Walker, once told me after reading some of my work that if he could write that well he would keep writing. He even told me that of all the students he has seen come through BYU, he can only think of two who were better writers than me (yup, I'm bragging a little bit right here). What he said really stuck with me and whenever I think about it I feel guilty because I rarely ever write. So this is going to be my attempt to push myself to write.

But please don't expect anything very profound, or even well written (or even correctly written) from this blog. Because my hope is that it will just get me to start getting words and ideas out there again, and maybe that will prompt me to write in a more professional manner. Maybe not. But I love to write. Even if I have nothing to say at all. So here's to the future of a whole lot of nothing.

No One Cares About My Boobs

Well, I don't really know what the first post on a blog is supposed to look like, so I'm jumping right in.

Today Kate and I accompanied Brett to a doctor's appointment. I knew Kate would need to eat as soon as we got there, and I have to say I was a little surprised when I entered a waiting room that was filled largely with men over the age of 60, as well as several missionaries. So, I parked it just a seat away from an old dude while Brett went to check in and proceeded to whip out my boob (okay, I used a cover, I just wanted to make that sound more scandalous than it really was). If you're expecting me to write about all the weird looks I got and go on a rant about breastfeeding stigmas, you're about to be disappointed. In a waiting room full of people, I felt completely comfortable feeding my baby, and if anyone else was uncomfortable with it I sure couldn't tell, because no one gave me so much as a disapproving, approving, or otherwise judgmental glance.
So why I am writing this?

Because that's exactly how it should be.

I was just feeding my kid. I know lots of other people feel awkward breastfeeding around others (whether covered or not) or have had other bad experiences breastfeeding in public. I'm happy to say that has never happened to me. I have breastfed Kate in lots of different places and my experience has always been the same: no one cares. And so I just want to say thank you to all the people out there who don't care (or at least act like they don't care) how and where I feed my kid.